Pissed Off at NKC Suburbian Life

Okay, I know it's been a whole year since I've posted. Didja miss me? I haven't been able to check my email accounts in ages, of which I have thousands of emails I'm sure. My Facebook Page is a mess and deserted of any postings from me...and I do apologize for my negligence. Especially to my classmates of SWHS Class of '89, who all this started for and why (to find more classmates for our Reunions). Hehehe, I guess Boogie Mann didn't have much to say last year, eh? Don't worry, he's still with us and has his tude intact...

So, I'm hopping "mad" with life up here in suburbia. Wanna know why? You know I'm going to tell you... Today I got stuck in the 7" of snow out on the street, right at the end of my driveway! The extra snow and ice plowed to the side of our cul-de-sac in front of our driveway got my Honda Odyssey hung up on a snowbank. You think that's funny? Wait till you hear the rest...perhaps I should change our name to the Twisted Soap Box, hmm could be another new column, ya think?

Anyway, I'm stuck outside our house, not even In our driveway yet, sideways across the roadway. Blocking the only street in and out of our cul-de-sac (duh!). Have you got a good mental image going yet? Blue van, in the street, stuck on snow bank. So, I turn off the van, go inside, get the shovel and start digging my way out. First attempt didn't help at all. I sit in the van warming up without the heater on, and try again. Second attempt I've got her rockin' now. No problem right? I'm sure to get out soon...WRONG.

I call my husband to make sure he knows I'm stuck and it's all his fault for not shoveling the driveway yesterday when he got home from work LIKE HE SAID he would. Not only did he dissapoint the kiddos by not going outside with them but I got stuck, too. No, the depressed wife does not go outside and play in the snow with the kiddos...that's a different entry. Let's stick to one at a time, please.

Back up; when I first got stuck I noticed my neighbor (another SAHM) saw me stuck and decided to shovel the end of her driveway of the snow plow's built up snowbank. Okay, so I'm sitting there stuck and slowly shifting from Drive to Reverse, from 1st gear to Reverse, and back again, while NO ONE so much as looks out their window at this spectacle in their neighborhood. We have plenty of SAHM's in this neighborhood, some retired couples, and college folks, too. NO ONE HELPED ME.

I sit in the van, warming up again, going for a third try is all I can do...then the recycling truck comes along. Oh crap! They have to get through now what? They pause and see my predicament, continue down to the next cul-de-sac, come back and low and behold Two MEXICANS walk up to me and offer to push the van backward to get me out. (insert victorious presentation music here) Remember, my Spanish is rusty to put it politely but I'm sure they assumed I was a white lady in this neighborhood until of course, I rolled down the slightly tinted window.

Needless to say, I had the van rocking and they gave me the forward shove I needed to get me unstuck. I LOVE THE WORKING CLASS MEXICAN MAN!! I should have married one, I wanted to, I tried to find one, honest Papa, I did try. Hell, I'd still leave my husband if I found a Decent, hard working Mexican, Latino, Hispanic man who would take care of me and my babies who didn't have and addiction to drinking, smoking, or cheating! NO, I wouldn't...but I'd think about it...anyway

I went forward, one man went back to the truck (who was the more handsome of the two) and the other stayed there helping me get out of the street. I continued to go back and forth until I had climbed onto the driveway, at least. My neighbor went by who was just WAITING for me to Move my Hung Up vehicle out of her way...how, I don't know until the two Most Wonderful Men in the World walked up to the van, offering their assistance...

Now you know that life in suburbia is NOT all it's cracked up to be. Those great and overly friendly neighbors you think you have don't lift a finger to help you. Even though I'M THE ONE who throws salt OUT into the STREET in front of our driveways and up our hilled street to melt the ICE so that we AND OUR NEIGHBORS can get in and out of our cul-de-sac. There was nothing wrong with the tires, mind you. It was the packed snow that the underside of the van was hung up on. I dug as much as I could out from under our light blue Odyssey and might still be out there now, instead of writing about it. LOL - well, I hope I've inspired you to be a more Watchful neighbor and consider your neighbors as you would like to be considered.

Until next time kids, farewell and don't try this at home! Love and Laughter to you All, *E*