Me & Dani Shapiro on The Writing Life

"moments of being" - On Taking Risks: Wednesday, September 30, 2009
MY RESPONSE TO THIS POST ARE IN ALL CAPS THROUGHOUT THE POST BELOW:

It's all a high-wire act, isn't it? The writing? The sitting down to write? The thinking that we have anything worth saying? Every bit of good writing emerges from a wild place. Whether you are a person of faith or not, still, setting words down on the page is an act of faith. Whether you think you are a courageous person or not, trying to craft a narrative -- in other words, trying to create something out of nothing -- is an act of courage.
WHAT AN INTERESTING POINT OF VIEW, MRS. SHAPIRO. "WRITING IS AN ACT OF FAITH," CREATING "SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING IS AN ACT OF COURAGE." HM, TELL US MORE.

Now, of course we writers aren't necessarily faithful or courageous people. Not most of us. Not in our real lives.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, SISTER! SOME OF US ARE FAITHFUL, COURAGEOUS, AND DOWNRIGHT BALLSY!! YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH WRITERS...

Not when we climb out of bed in the morning and meet our own faces in the mirror. Coward! The mirror might reflect back at us. Faithless one! You, there--brushing your teeth. Yeah, you. Why do you think you have anything inside you worth saying?
UM, I HAVE PERSONALLY DONE THIS, I THINK ONE OF US HAS SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES. I FOR ONE, HAVE PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS, BE THEY RIGHT OR WRONG, I HAVE AN OPINION. THAT'S WHAT I'M SHARING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Why do you think anyone will care?
BECAUSE I'M GOOD LIKE THAT! I HAPPEN TO KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. I KNOW I CARE FOR WHAT A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY, TOO.

Recently I was going through a list of small pieces, short fiction and essays that I've written over the past few years. The list is pretty long, actually. And I had a moment, looking through that list, of realizing that every single one of those pieces had begun with the same process of resistance, wildness, faith, doubt, and ultimately just enough courage.
THAT'S PRETTY SAD, ACTUALLY. IF IT'S THAT TOUGH FOR YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WRITING. EVER THINK OF THAT?

Here goes nothing, the little voice in my head whispered again and again. Here goes nothing. But still--in the faith of that potential nothingness--I plunged forward anyway. Doggedly, determinedly, forward. That small kernel of wildness aglow inside me.
KERNEL? WOW, IS THAT IT? REALLY? BECAUSE, I HAVE A BLAZING BONFIRE ALIGHT IN MY HEART THAT REMINDS ME EVERY DAY THAT IF I DON'T WRITE TODAY, I AM LETTING SOMEONE IMPORTANT DOWN: ME!

Here goes nothing?
So what.
Maybe it will turn into something.
Maybe not.
I NEVER GO INTO WRITING THINKING THIS CRAP! I WOULD NEVER WRITE. NEVER FINISH, NEVER GET THROUGH THE DAY THINKING LIKE THIS. HOW DO YOU??

Almost all of those pieces worked out. They were published here and here and here. I have to remind myself every day that it's a risk--all of it.
AND WHAT, EXACTLY, ARE WE RISKING? FAILURE, HUMILIATION, NO PAYCHECK? REJECTION SLIPS ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF STRONGER CHARACTER! YES, I SAY THAT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN PUBLISHED BY "ANYONE ELSE." I WRITE AND PUT MY WRITING OUT THERE MYSELF. I DON'T REALLY "NEED" ANYONE ELSE'S STAMP OF APPROVAL ON MY WRITING...BUT IT FEELS GOOD TO GET, I SUPPOSE. TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE "VALIDATE" OUR WRITING WITH A DOLLAR AMOUNT...MAYBE.

Every day brings small satisfactions, small disappointments. Because my husband and I are both writers, our household is full of those ups and downs. The phone rings at dinner time with some crisis or another (the life of a Hollywood screenwriter). An email brings news that something I had hoped for is happening--or isn't. That roller coaster that is the life of two people who create.
AH, NOW I GET WHERE ALL Y OUR INSECURITIES ARE COMING FROM. YOU DO REALIZE THAT THE LAST SENTENCE YOU WROTE THERE IS A FRAGMENT, RIGHT?

Sometimes, when I'm aware that our young son is watching us, I wonder what he sees -- and whether it looks good to him, or whether some day he'll opt for a more stable life with fewer ups and downs. A life with clear parameters, predictable days, concrete results.
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE...GIVE THE KID SOME CREDIT - AND A LITTLE TIME.

Or maybe, just maybe--I'd like to think that he sees two people who are wrestling with their fears and insecurities, who hear their own internal censors, whispering Here goes nothing...but plunge forward despite our cowardice and faithlessness and uncertainty. Taking that daily risk despite ourselves.
"DESPITE OURSELVES?" SO, ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU 'DEFINE YOURSELF' BY YOUR COWARDICE, FAITHLESSNESS, AND UNCERTAINTY?? I HATE TO TELL YOU, LADY, BUT THAT IS A SAD LITTLE LIFE YOU JUST DESCRIBED. I MEAN, I LIVE WITH AND SURVIVE DEPRESSION ON A DAILY BASIS AND MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE IS NOT NEARLY THAT GLOOMY!!

I LIVE MY LIFE CONTENT WHERE I AM ON THE WAY TO THE GREATNESS I AM MEANT TO HAVE! I HAVE GOD IN MY LIFE. IF YOU'RE JUST DEPENDING ON YOURSELF TO GET YOU THROUGH, THEN YOU WILL LIVE IN MISERY THE WAY YOU JUST DESCRIBED YOUR WRITING LIFE. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE SUCCESS YOU HAVE HAD IS PRETTY EMPTY... OR, YOU WOULDN'T STILL FEEL THE WAY YOU DO DAILY, OR EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SIT DOWN TO WRITE SOMETHING!

I WONDER IF YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU WRITE TO MAKE MONEY. I WRITE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM MEANT TO DO. THAT'S MY GIFT. I AM USING IT! GOOD LUCK, DANI SHAPIRO. AS I WAS UNABLE TO COMMENT ON HER BLOG, WHICH YOU CAN FIND BY CLICKING THIS LINK:
http://www.danishapiro.com/blog/2009/09/on-taking-risks.html

I WISH YOU CONTINUED SUCCESS, GOD'S DAILY BLESSINGS, AND FOR JESUS CHRIST TO TOUCH YOUR HEART. YOU APPEAR TO NEED HIM, BADLY. BUT, THAT'S JUST ME...
-Elisa Me

The Low Down on Depression

Due to unfortunate discovery that this is a subject not nearly discussed enough, I felt obligated to explain to our readers why you should never ask someone who says they are depressed, "Why are you depressed?"

Surviving Depression is like recovering from a heroin addiction. At least, according to this movie I saw Things We Lost in the Fire (2007) starring Benicio Del Torro and Halle Barry. When I watched this movie it was very moving. I've known drug addicts and Thank God I've never been one! Just witnessing the withdrawal process shown in this movie is a horrible experience... Still, it made me realize how closely related the diseases' are to one another.

The last time I hit rock bottom [again] my week ended like this: Thursday I slept over and had to drive my son, Dak (6) to school. I signed him in at 9am...then, Friday I slept over later and got him to school at 10am!! This morning, I slept until nearly Noon... Do we see a pattern here? That's what clinical depressives do. That's also how I found out I was actually going through a "bout" of depression, again.

I saw a commercial asking questions like: "Do you want to close the shades and hide from the world? Do you want to stay at home and not do anything? Do you want to unplug the phone because you don't want to talk to anyone?" I'm sitting there saying, "Yes, yes, yes." Then I thought, "What the crap?" So, I told my wonderful Dr. Scott about it. Needless to say, she raised my Cymbalta dosage by 30mgs and told me to adjust my Wellbutrin prescription. I had been taking it wrong and it was wearing off in the middle of the day! Can you imagine? What a lunkhead.

Anyway, Once the dosage adjustment was made I began to feel better. I still wasn't sleeping right but, what the heck? Something has to suffer in order for something else to get better? Isn't that the natural order of things? Depression is not sadness. It's indescribable for the person living through it. It's not even close to pain...it's just...empty. Like a black hole through the pit of your soul. No one knows where it leads or whence it came. It just is.

I can say that nearing the bottomless well of depression is a slow and tedious process. Climbing out is even harder when the upsetting thing is your own demeaning attitude toward yourself! Did that make sense? It did in my head. I was already upset about not being a "good wife" and not cleaning the house like I used to, I hadn't folded the kids clothes and put them back in their rooms for over a month, I hadn't showered in two days, and I was pretty ashamed to say so.

To this day, I'm still not exercising any of this weight off...then again, I AM the only one complaining about it. My New Year's Resolution was to take after breakfast walks with my children. Well, those didn't exist passed that day! Is it no wonder that I dislike myself? Then, hearing my husband's complaints about the same things I just typed...cleaning, clothes, exercise...just makes the feeling stronger and the self-loathing last longer. It's hard to keep waking up in the morning when you feel this worthless... But I know God Loves me... It's the WHY I can't believe much in, sometimes - or figure out.

Whatever. Who cares, right? That's how manic depressives think themselves into a stupor. I remember crying and driving around one trying night, talking to myself about how lonely I felt living up here in "suburbia." {No offense to anyone.} I actually told myself out loud, "No one wants to move up here with you (meaning up North in KCMO), no one wants to see you, no one wants to talk to you, and you don't have any friends up here because you're a pale, lazy wench that stays inside all day. And you wonder why you're lonely? What a dummy." Yes, we do think those thoughts and yes, we do talk ourselves right back out of it the second the words leave our trembling lips! That's what makes it a mental disorder. LOL!

Back to the movie up top, it dealt with a woman's grief over losing her husband who was a wonderful man, and getting to know his drug addicted Best Friend since childhood. Her grief was obvious but we saw her pain in one tiny scene: she and her two kids were eating breakfast and the kids were playing, teasing each other. The mother [Halle Berry] screamed something like, "Stop it! All I asked you kids for was to eat your breakfast quietly. You little brats!"

That stung... I quickly told my husband, "There! That's what depression is like. My depression is like her grief." What I meant was, I absolutely have that same feeling when I haven't allowed myself to deal with the grief I should have processed Months Ago!! How can I associate my depression with her unprocessed grief? I learned that one in 'Grief Share' a church facilitated and Faith based program for accepting and processing your grief over any type of detrimental loss. Believe it or not, a "loss" can be something as little as the family pet dying to a death in the family. Loss can include a divorce of any length, being fired from the job you've had for so many years, or being laid off in this chaotic time we are in right now. I considered going back through the program, or group sessions again, in order to work through that bout... I never did. Which is really what most of us do; nothing.

Yes, we would rather wait for our current 'episode' to "pass" and not draw any attention to ourselves. Or should I say, any more attention to us, as 9 times out of 10, Someone has noticed Something is wrong. Avoidance is half the battle. Acceptance is the other half. If God can forgive my shortcomings, why can't I forgive myself? That is the eternal question. That, as humans, is on most of our minds in some form, shape, or fashion, at some point and time in our lives. Are we worthy? Am I worthy? He thinks I am. So, why don't I?

-Elisa Me

Personal Memories of 9/11 of 2001

BE FOREWARNED: IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO READ OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY THE TRUTH ABOUT REAL EVENTS, FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS ON THIS DAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST.

I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the Tuesday morning of September 11, 2001. I worked as a Certificate Specialist at the Insurance Company, Cretcher-Lynch with a good friend, Debbie Clark. I recall someone yelling out, turn on the TV! We all looked at each other and made our way to the lunchroom. There, mounted in the upper right corner of our small kitchen and lounge was a 20" television set tuned to the local news. Broadcasting Live coverage of an airplane that hit one of the World Trade Buildings.

We couldn't believe our eyes! It was horrid and fascinating at once. You've heard the saying, "It's like seeing a train wreck," haven't you? It's awful and tragic, but exciting at the same time. You try to look away but you can't stop staring. We were mainly an office of ladies, bosses and assistants, teams, and individuals alike. Our male CEO's entered the room. Noting the solemn and grave expressions we wore, they said nothing and turned their attention to the screen, instead.

There was a fast consensus throughout the office that this was no accident even as the reporters debated the issue. We knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, this was absolutely intentional. How could they even think otherwise? An airplane pilot would not in their lives, mistakenly hit a building like the World Trade Center Towers! Were they mad? Perhaps, just maybe, they were just as dismayed as we were, trying to hang on to reality as we'd known it until that day. Or, the American media machine was finally roused by reality instead of concocting its own brand of scare tactics.

None of us wanted to believe what was happening. But then, it happened again...

Another plane slammed into the second tower right before our eyes! We all gasped in a new wave of horror as we realized that this was all too real. In that moment, a lump caught in my throat. My eyes watered and my breath stopped. The announcement that all flights were "grounded" sent us quickly to the nearest window. The most vivid memory I have of September 11th is of the jet trails in the sky. All aircraft in our country were recalled and fiercely turning in mid-air. We were witness to the fantastic. The largest, civilian national effort of our time played out across American skies! And this was just the beginning.

I can't tell you the rest...it's too much. You have your own memories, haunting visions, and stories to tell. I will finish with this, however. Late into the night, as we watched our own firefighters leave Kansas City to join the rescue efforts in New York at Ground Zero, we cried. Our wedding was scheduled to take place in exactly four days! Our out of town guests were stuck at the airport. The Second Baptist Church in Liberty, Missouri was organizing a support effort and sending volunteers, as were more area churches, to Ground Zero to help the men and women firefighters and their families cope, remain hydrated, and fed.

I received a call from my tailor, who still had alterations to make on my wedding dress. She was stuck in California! Not only did I consider calling off the wedding in wake of the 9-11 tragedy still unfolding, it looked like it may not happen even if we did want to be married in four days. After two days of struggling with that decision, finding out that our out of town guests were arriving safely, and many talks with co-workers and friends alike, Greg left the decision up to me.

I woke up, on Friday, September 14, 2009 hell bent on marrying my man! I thought to myself, this is not right. They can't beat down America like this. I am an American. I was born and raised here, damn it. My parents settled in this country to give us a life worth living, to find happiness and joy in the America Dream. That is exactly what I wanted for us and to share with our guests! Our wedding day turned out to be so much more than a celebration of love, it was a celebration of continued life! The rebirth of a new and promising life as one. The life we knew as Americans, as free citizens, as caring and compassionate, God-fearing Christians and non-believing individuals alike. It didn't matter who was right or wrong, what mattered was that we were going on, moving forward, together.

Believe it or not, my wedding day turned into a beautiful occasion in spite of our nation's tragic events. In light of Tuesday's unsettling news and the weeks' exhaustive, stress-filled hours, I was going to be married that afternoon at 1:00 o'clock. Cutting to the chase and saving you a greater amount of time, our Wedding Reception was just the right "release" after 911. We had a ball. I didn't see a sad face in the place. There wasn't a single person SITTING DOWN at our reception {except Mama, because she was in her wheelchair, so get over it}! A conga line started and EVERYONE was in it! Every single guest in the room was on their feet, dancing...

No one was thinking about the twin towers collapse. We weren't meditating on all the loss, and death, or what the surviving families were going to do without their men and women who went down in those flights. We were allowed to let it all go and enjoy life again. Because in this country and around the world, for that matter, like it or not, life does go on. It will leave you in the dust if you let it. So, I encourage you all today, to begin Living like there's no tomorrow for the sake of the memories you will make Today! Laugh until there's no more tears. Sing like no one's listening! And dance like no one's watching. In the end, it's the laughter, the songs, the friends, the love, and the dance you will remember.

I know you've heard those lines before but have you ever done it? Have you decided yet, to be 100% loyal to yourself, your partner, your friends, and your dreams? Did you take that first step towards your New Year's resolutions in January, like I did? Is your anger and frustration evident on a daily basis at work, home, or school? Are you still trying to find out what you're really good at and what will truly make you happy? I'm not. I already know. How many of us can truly say the same - and mean it? I don't know everything, no one does; but I know me and that makes me happy.

Please remember 911 as the day America took a deep breath, inhaled the evil of this world, and let it OUT in one united, exasperating sigh. Where we all looked the same, covered in ash. When we all grieved for our country's loss and cried, Together. Remember that we survived it together. When we made It Work! I urge you to remember HOW IT WORKED...WITH US WORKING TOGETHER. So, for all those whose lives were affected by September 9, 2001, God's Blessings and Strength Be Yours!

Forever and Always,
-Elisa Me!

Final Thoughts on The King of Pop!

Friday morning, the Steve Harvey Morning Show re-played their recording of the first ever "live" international radio show interview with Michael Jackson in 2001! MJ said himself that he has never called in to any morning radio program before that day. I wake up every weekday morning to Steve Harvey's Morning Show and the Crew because he starts my days off with some healthy laughter!

For the first time since MJ's death, I finally missed him yesterday. They were paying homage to MJ because they are burying him tomorrow and/or it's his birthday. Whatever the case, it was Great to hear from the man himself! Instead of hearing a journalists point of view, a stiff reporter, or anyone else for that matter.

Michael said he was a "big fan" of Steve Harvey's and that Steve did a skit about the Titanic in The Kings of Comedy that Michael thought was hilarious. Now, I feel bad for not missing or grieving for MJ sooner! Long before his death, I was desensitized to news of MJ for one reason or another. Either it was too trivial, {I believed it was} false, or it no longer interested me. I grieved for Michael Jackson a LONG time ago, when his appearance changed so drastically that I no longer recognized the person I fell in love with -- along with the rest of the nation.

Of course, Steve & the Morning Crew have a way to make you care about anyone he talks about. I love Steve Harvey. It also brought to mind the post Danny Quinn wrote about MJ having dinner with them one evening. Steve, of course, had MJ cracking up on the phone! Hearing Michael's own words, reactions, and laughter brought it all home to me in a way I did not expect. Nor was I prepared to handle. So, I had to share this with whoever wanted to read it.

Michael Jackson was born the seventh of nine children on August 29, 1958 in Gary, Indiana. That's how I'll remember him. That cute kid up front in the Jackson 5! The skinny guy with the short fro who sang the greatest songs I knew all the words to; That phenomenal entertainer whose videos I could perform its entire routine to in our living room for Mama, EVERY SINGLE TIME it came on TV...that's who I will always see and who I will miss, dearly.

For the record, during the time of PYT, Thriller, Billie Jean, Beat It, etc. was when I personally thought MJ's appearance was both astounding and perfect. And I never really forgave him for being so ashamed of his God given features that he felt the need to go off the deep end with surgical procedures to alter them...but that wasn't him; not really. That was an outward appearance that only served to darken the glow of his inner beauty the rest of the world clung to about him. Now I know. And I will never forget it.

To Read The Article Steve Harvey Referred To Repeatedly, Click Below:
http://www.buttonmonkey.com/misc/maryfischer.html

To Read A Weird Blog About This With Several More Links Throughout The Article:
http://www.slumdance.com/blogs/brian_flemming/archives/000470.html

-emg

Picture is of GQ's Cover Page for the 1994 Article

The Story Behind CO'89s 20th Reunion

First and foremost, check out our Public Photos at these Links:

20th Reunion '89 Meet-n-Greet at Lew's Grill & Bar which we took over @
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031414&id=1094094218&l=2901f286eb
20th Reunion '89 Family Friendly Picnic at Faulkner's Ranch with LOTS of Amenities they threw in for FREE and we got to have our picnic in the air conditioning @
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031652&id=1094094218&l=b14c49eede
20th Reunion '89 Adult Dance Event where we partied like it was 1989 @
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031660&id=1094094218&l=5f7a835573

Now, on with the dirt, I mean, the story...

As I made my way into the city yesterday, I saw the rotating restaurant atop the Hyatt Regency Hotel. I couldn't help thinking, "Is it over? Is that it? Am I really not going to see everyone for another 5 years?"

Fortunately, for me, the majority of the Class of '89 wants and looks forward to our 25th Reunion. More '89ers are migrating to our Class Website and even some from classmates.com are finding their way homes to us. Not only is this detrimental for planning a 25th Reunion, it is necessary to keep track of '89ers and keeping us together for years to come with or without reunions.

Let me explain. There are very few things in life that mean much in the long run. The most prevalent of those are the people we know, the relationships we have, and the lives that undoubtedly change and alter our own. You've heard the question before, "Who will visit you when you're old and gray?" The answer is one of many. your children, your grandchildren, your spouse, immediate family members, extended family, or the people you shared the most important developing years of your entire life with?

Believe me, when it comes time for your life to flash before your eyes, you will remember those faces. You will relive those memories in the century of seconds you have left. Each bated breath will cling to the flutter of reverie crossing your mind. And until you've made peace with your past, you will never be content. Take it from a professional...soul searcher. I've been getting to know me for over half my life and I'm an expert anymore, but I digress.

Getting back to the subject, I had to reconnect with my past in order to heal from it. My days at Southwest High School were my finest and my worst. In both respects, I learned a lot and indeed, came out the better person for it, but at a very high cost. I did not graduate with my Class at Southwest High School in 1989. This is a fact that was not lost on everyone during the planning stages of our 20th Reunion. In fact, many of you would not have known had I not told you. I do realize that letting the proverbial cat out of the bag, so to speak, is opening myself up to criticism - but I would rather that be out in the open than held over my head like a dirty little secret {as it was treated by some}.

Yes, the rumor mill was hard at work to unseat me as the acting President of the 20th Reunion Committee. It just failed! Ha, ha! When you are true to God, true to yourself, and true to those around you, you have no fear. I told a couple of people at the Meet-n-Greet that I was just tired of hiding. I hid so much for so long while at Southwest and after I left, that I was tired of pretending to be happy and decided instead to find true happiness. Asking God's forgiveness, accepting His forgiveness, and eventually {after about 5-9 years or so} forgiving myself was the first step. I have hurt some and have been hurt by some. Realizing we are all in the same boat {as in Class}, I see that we are all only human. We all have our own misgivings and mistakes to atone for, but that's another story altogether.

My next step was to "come clean." Opening up my life, writing about my thoughts and my heart has freed me in a way nothing else ever could. I told them, "My life is an open book now, I have no secrets and that's the way I like it." I do. It suits me well.

Apparently, the real problem was that I had no business being the President of our 20th Reunion Committee because I dropped out in my Junior year at Southwest in March of 1988. Both for selfish and really stupid reasons you couldn't fathom...I have written all about this on my super personal blog, which I have been sworn not to over expose. Instead, to let those who wish to know me on that intimate a level to seek it out for themselves. If you search for something long enough, you will find it. I wanted to clear the air about this because it's up to you, Class of '89. I vowed to step down from my "Presidency" after this reunion because of the hassle and headache, however, my "Dream Team" told me I can't! So, it's up to popular demand now. What say you Class of '89? I only have this to left to say:

I have loved you and will always love you as the people I grew up with and cherish remembering. You will always be a part of me now, especially after this laborious undertaking we called our 20th Reunion. For those of you I love and remember and those of you I met for the first time and grew to love during the course of this dream come true, I love you all the same. So, those of you who don't remember me, now you know why. For those of you who did honestly remember me, I thank you. For those of you who knew this little factoid and said nothing, I thank you, too. If only to have allowed the 20th Reunion Committee to accomplish what I set out to do {single-handed if necessary}, I appreciate your silence and support.

For those of you who mastered the rumor mill and attempted to sabotage the entire reunion, shame on you, but know that you are in my prayers. It's up to you to heal yourselves, no one can help you except God. Not me, nor anyone else in our class or in your lives can help heal your wounds except you. Each one of you has to decide to and accept change in yourselves. I wish you His Love, acceptance, and forgiveness of self. Believe me, forgiving yourself IS the hardest part.

The only disappointing aspect of the entire reunion weekend were those of you who hung onto your old cliques, and you know who you are...hell, we all do! It was laughable, disrespectful, and immature. To the rest of the Class, I congratulate you on becoming well-rounded, open-minded, respectable citizens, and new found friends. For being grown ups in a world that has no tolerance or patience. You have overcome the boundaries of race, sex, and discrimination in your own Class. That is saying a Lot for public school educated individuals! :) Myself included. GAT classes or no.

My eyes tear at the thought, the pictures, and the memories of our '89 class members who embraced one another as long lost friends. For those who photographed each other with people you KNOW you didn't hang out with in high school, I commend you! I can't tell you how happy it made me to see social lines crossed if not diminished entirely. It was ALL Worthwhile to see the love, the respect, and support the Class of '89 has for its members. We have come far, my friends. We have lived, loved, and conquered. I can't tell you how proud THAT makes me. That is the ONLY sliver of pride I felt the entire time. Otherwise, it was an entire Class effort and hats off to you, Southwest High School Class of 1989.

I wish you all the love, all the joy, and all the happiness your heart can hold. Most of all, I wish that your dreams come true the way YOU made Mine come true on August 14th and 15th, 2009. Thank you, all.

May God's Blessings Rain Upon You Forever,
Elisa Mendoza (Gilliland)
President, 20th Reunion Committee

-emg

Sci-Fi Scenes & Snippets

EXCERPT: Prey of Light - Battle Winsor Reveal Scene 2009

Her thin brown hair hung loose now, brushing her shoulders in a lush cascade, unlike the tight bun she wore earlier. She stood very still and silent, except for the rise and fall of her breasts. Her eyes were closed as if listening to some distant voice. Across from her, Battle watched, waiting. He had no idea why or what he waited for except that her beauty entranced him.

He made sure not to distract her with any movement. One by one, the strands of her hair began to defy gravity. Her hair hovered above her shoulders in a halo of opaque tranquility. She looked as if she was immersed in water. He began to feel and smell an electrical charge. The hairs on his forearms stood on end. That’s some kind of static.

Battle heard the wind outside the institute barreling into the building like waves against the seashore. Is that in my head or my ears? Suddenly, he heard another sound beside the wind. Was that a whimper, a moan, a laugh? What the hell? Battle’s vision began to blur, the lamplight dimmed between them and she soon became nothing more than a silhouette against a smoky background.

His mind went blank along with his vision. He was aware that he should not witness whatever this was but he stayed his position. Battle, surrounded by the mist, heard a low hum that grew louder. Slowly, the fog around him lifted. Beyond her, shrouded in the mist she projected, Battle could see a beam of light. Then another, and another, crossing one another, forming a box of some kind. A rectangle; a coffin!

Battle Winsor was no longer in the hallway of the institute in Anchorage, Alaska. Or was he? He wasn’t sure anymore but he was sure that his mind and his eyes had to be playing tricks on him. Yet he smelled moist earth and his nostrils stung from the cold. It must be the bourbon.

The beams became clearer and changed shape. Still a misty picture around the edges, Battle didn’t recognize a thing, save for the triangular shape the beams made anew. Inside the pyramid of light lie the black coffin made of a material Battle didn’t recognize. Wait, the lab techs were looking at something black and tin… Remembering the thin objects their bunk mates, that fancy research team, had and kept hidden from them when he and Ronny arrived.

Lying at the center of the strange black coffin was a wild red rose. It was fresh cut with all its thorns. Battle could even make out tiny drops of dew on its petals. Why wild, why the thorns?

“It’ll be dead in a day or two.” He said aloud and felt the room tumble around him. He toppled into the door frame and heard a woman scream somewhere near him.

Holy shit! Battle took a step back. He blinked and found her glaring at him. Her eyes reflected a strange orange glow, apparently cast by the lamplight.

Her eyes narrowed immediately, adjusting to the florescent light in the corridor. She charged him. Battle braced himself and stood his ground. Her hands spread out like claws and she reached for his throat. He caught her wrists, holding her at arm’s length.

“Look lady, I’m sorry to intrude on your private party here, but you were in my way.” Battle noticed the flickering lights around them. They were back in the hallway, just outside of he and Ronny’s room.

“What did you see? Tell me!” The orange reflection was gone from her eyes and she seemed different, somehow. She did not look exactly like she had when they’d met just this afternoon. The brown of her eyes, the red of her lips, the texture of her brown skin? Something in her physical appearance had changed. Battle wanted to know what and why.

Class of 1989s 20th Reunion in ONE WEEK!

It's time to dust off those dancing shoes, ya'll. We are going to party like it's 1989! Come to the Adult Event dressed up, but comfortable. No jeans, no T-shirts, please. That's the ONLY rule! The Final say is:

Dearest Alumni FINAL DATE for Registration Payment is AUGUST 10, 2009 or CALL ROBYN YOUNG to Arrange Cash Payments in Town @ 816-509-1079 or Elisa Mendoza @ 816-716-5141

THE QUOTED PRICES BELOW ARE FINAL and we are asking for PAYMENT for all events available for participation as soon as possible to meet venue payment and head count deadlines.

Thanks to those of You who Have SUBMITTED YOUR ORDERS. The PRICES, LOCATIONS, and ACTIVITIES Available for each event are LISTED HERE:

$0 Each Person is Responsible for the Cost of their own Drinks and Meals for the Meet-n-Greet which will take place @ Lew's Grill & Bar, 7539 Wornall Road, KCMO 64114, 816-444-8080, FROM 7 PM UNTIL, http://www.lewsgrillandbar.com, an Intimate Atmosphere, familiar scenery, great food and drinks, AND YOUR CLASSMATES;

$21 Per Person INCLUDING $21 PER CHILD Over Two Years of age for the Family Picnic @ Faulkner's Ranch, 10600 Raytown Road, KCMO 64134, 816-761-5055, PROMPTLY FROM 12 PM TO 4 PM, http://faulknersranch/FAULKNERSRANCH, Activities Available will be a Great Playground directly next us, Volleyball Net, Horseshoe Toss, and Pond with walking trail close to the Picnic Pavilion and;

$55 Per Person for the 20th Reunion Adult Event to be held @ The Hyatt Regency Crown Center, 2345 McGee Street, KCMO 64108, 1-816-421-1234, FROM 9 PM TO 1 AM, Activities Available will be Memorabilia Table, Live DJ with 80s to Now music mix, {still working on} Karaoke, Possible Portraits on Site, Food Buffet Style Setup, http://crowncenter.hyatt.com/hyatt/hotels/index.

PLEASE REGISTER & MAKE PAYMENTS NOW!! Payments made for the SW Class of '89 will go directly to the SW Class of '89 Bank Account with UMB via PayPal, so when you Register and Order you will end your transaction on PayPal's Website. You will see your purchase order, charges, and be given the option to print your receipt. In addition, you will receive an email of your transaction receipt from PayPal, listing SW Class of '89 as the payee! If you have any problems with your order PLEASE DO NOT REGISTER TWICE! Call Elisa Mendoza @ 816-716-5141 for technical support.

If you are uncomfortable paying Online, you may Still DROP OFF YOUR PAYMENTS BY PERSONAL CHECK OR MONEY ORDER TO your 20th Reunion Committee Treasurer, Robyn Young as follows; please MAKE CHECKS PAYABLE to: SW Class of '89

SW Class of '89
4922 E. 41st Street
Kansas City, MO 64130

Please CALL ROBYN YOUNG @ 816-509-1079 or me, Elisa Mendoza @ 816-716-5141 ASAP!

Registration Fees are Non-Refundable but WILL go towards future event planning. This is the only way we can Guarantee Our CLASS of '89 will CONTINUE CREATING Future Events for US All. I apologize for any inconvenience and confusion this has caused until now. Hey, whatta ya know, we got our crap together!

Thank you, Elisa
President, 20th Reunion Committee

Don't Believe The Hype

The United States of America is founded on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All. If this is so true, why do we twist the words of our leaders?

During the press availability, Obama stated:


"I think that where -- where there's the most promise of building stronger U.S.-Turkish relations is in the recognition that Turkey and the United States can build a model partnership in which a predominantly Christian nation and a predominantly Muslim nation, a Western nation and a nation that straddles two continents -- that we can create a modern international community that is respectful, that is secure, that is prosperous; that there are not tensions, inevitable tensions, between cultures, which I think is extraordinarily important.

That's something that's very important to me. And I've said before that one of the great strengths of the United States is -- although as I mentioned, we have a very large Christian population, we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation; we consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.

I think Turkey was -- modern Turkey was founded with a similar set of principles, and yet what we're seeing is in both countries that promise of a secular country that is respectful of religious freedom, respectful of rule of law, respectful of freedom, upholding these values and being willing to stand up for them in the international stage. If we are joined together in delivering that message, East and West, to -- to the world, then I think that we can have an extraordinary impact. And I'm very much looking forward to that partnership in the days to come."

There is so much sadness in the world without us having to "read into" everything. Sometimes, occasionally, it is okay to take some people and the things they say at face value. There are good people in the world, we need to remember our core values in the American Dream and stand United as a people, as in our past...Once upon a time...

-E

Why Save This For Christmas?

I don't think I could save this for Christmas! That's a whole half-year away. Here's a great clip that's just under 5 minutes long. Achmed was around a lot longer than our current terrorist woes, however, so remember - this is ALL in Fun. Have a good laugh.

AND HERE'S ONE FOR NEW YEAR'S, TOO! JEFF DUNHAM ON THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO:
This clip is a bit over the five minute mark but features Jeff with Walter & Achmed.


Okay, I'm done publishing JD and his slew of puppets...for now...because laughter is the best medicine for every ailment on the planet. Except one that hurts when you laugh...hm.
-E

Jeff Dunham and Achmed the Terrorist!

I just LOVE this guy and Achmed! All his puppets are fantastic. I just found a slew of clips with him & his puppets on YouTube, so I'm including a short three minute clip here. Enjoy!





For a LONGER Version (10:47 mins) of this clip, watch it on YouTube @:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psvL2eYQ7YM