"moments of being" - On Taking Risks: Wednesday, September 30, 2009
MY RESPONSE TO THIS POST ARE IN ALL CAPS THROUGHOUT THE POST BELOW:
It's all a high-wire act, isn't it? The writing? The sitting down to write? The thinking that we have anything worth saying? Every bit of good writing emerges from a wild place. Whether you are a person of faith or not, still, setting words down on the page is an act of faith. Whether you think you are a courageous person or not, trying to craft a narrative -- in other words, trying to create something out of nothing -- is an act of courage.
WHAT AN INTERESTING POINT OF VIEW, MRS. SHAPIRO. "WRITING IS AN ACT OF FAITH," CREATING "SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING IS AN ACT OF COURAGE." HM, TELL US MORE.
Now, of course we writers aren't necessarily faithful or courageous people. Not most of us. Not in our real lives.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, SISTER! SOME OF US ARE FAITHFUL, COURAGEOUS, AND DOWNRIGHT BALLSY!! YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH WRITERS...
Not when we climb out of bed in the morning and meet our own faces in the mirror. Coward! The mirror might reflect back at us. Faithless one! You, there--brushing your teeth. Yeah, you. Why do you think you have anything inside you worth saying?
UM, I HAVE PERSONALLY DONE THIS, I THINK ONE OF US HAS SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES. I FOR ONE, HAVE PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS, BE THEY RIGHT OR WRONG, I HAVE AN OPINION. THAT'S WHAT I'M SHARING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Why do you think anyone will care?
BECAUSE I'M GOOD LIKE THAT! I HAPPEN TO KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. I KNOW I CARE FOR WHAT A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY, TOO.
Recently I was going through a list of small pieces, short fiction and essays that I've written over the past few years. The list is pretty long, actually. And I had a moment, looking through that list, of realizing that every single one of those pieces had begun with the same process of resistance, wildness, faith, doubt, and ultimately just enough courage.
THAT'S PRETTY SAD, ACTUALLY. IF IT'S THAT TOUGH FOR YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WRITING. EVER THINK OF THAT?
Here goes nothing, the little voice in my head whispered again and again. Here goes nothing. But still--in the faith of that potential nothingness--I plunged forward anyway. Doggedly, determinedly, forward. That small kernel of wildness aglow inside me.
KERNEL? WOW, IS THAT IT? REALLY? BECAUSE, I HAVE A BLAZING BONFIRE ALIGHT IN MY HEART THAT REMINDS ME EVERY DAY THAT IF I DON'T WRITE TODAY, I AM LETTING SOMEONE IMPORTANT DOWN: ME!
Here goes nothing?
So what.
Maybe it will turn into something.
Maybe not.
I NEVER GO INTO WRITING THINKING THIS CRAP! I WOULD NEVER WRITE. NEVER FINISH, NEVER GET THROUGH THE DAY THINKING LIKE THIS. HOW DO YOU??
Almost all of those pieces worked out. They were published here and here and here. I have to remind myself every day that it's a risk--all of it.
AND WHAT, EXACTLY, ARE WE RISKING? FAILURE, HUMILIATION, NO PAYCHECK? REJECTION SLIPS ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF STRONGER CHARACTER! YES, I SAY THAT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN PUBLISHED BY "ANYONE ELSE." I WRITE AND PUT MY WRITING OUT THERE MYSELF. I DON'T REALLY "NEED" ANYONE ELSE'S STAMP OF APPROVAL ON MY WRITING...BUT IT FEELS GOOD TO GET, I SUPPOSE. TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE "VALIDATE" OUR WRITING WITH A DOLLAR AMOUNT...MAYBE.
Every day brings small satisfactions, small disappointments. Because my husband and I are both writers, our household is full of those ups and downs. The phone rings at dinner time with some crisis or another (the life of a Hollywood screenwriter). An email brings news that something I had hoped for is happening--or isn't. That roller coaster that is the life of two people who create.
AH, NOW I GET WHERE ALL Y OUR INSECURITIES ARE COMING FROM. YOU DO REALIZE THAT THE LAST SENTENCE YOU WROTE THERE IS A FRAGMENT, RIGHT?
Sometimes, when I'm aware that our young son is watching us, I wonder what he sees -- and whether it looks good to him, or whether some day he'll opt for a more stable life with fewer ups and downs. A life with clear parameters, predictable days, concrete results.
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE...GIVE THE KID SOME CREDIT - AND A LITTLE TIME.
Or maybe, just maybe--I'd like to think that he sees two people who are wrestling with their fears and insecurities, who hear their own internal censors, whispering Here goes nothing...but plunge forward despite our cowardice and faithlessness and uncertainty. Taking that daily risk despite ourselves.
"DESPITE OURSELVES?" SO, ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU 'DEFINE YOURSELF' BY YOUR COWARDICE, FAITHLESSNESS, AND UNCERTAINTY?? I HATE TO TELL YOU, LADY, BUT THAT IS A SAD LITTLE LIFE YOU JUST DESCRIBED. I MEAN, I LIVE WITH AND SURVIVE DEPRESSION ON A DAILY BASIS AND MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE IS NOT NEARLY THAT GLOOMY!!
I LIVE MY LIFE CONTENT WHERE I AM ON THE WAY TO THE GREATNESS I AM MEANT TO HAVE! I HAVE GOD IN MY LIFE. IF YOU'RE JUST DEPENDING ON YOURSELF TO GET YOU THROUGH, THEN YOU WILL LIVE IN MISERY THE WAY YOU JUST DESCRIBED YOUR WRITING LIFE. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE SUCCESS YOU HAVE HAD IS PRETTY EMPTY... OR, YOU WOULDN'T STILL FEEL THE WAY YOU DO DAILY, OR EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SIT DOWN TO WRITE SOMETHING!
I WONDER IF YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU WRITE TO MAKE MONEY. I WRITE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM MEANT TO DO. THAT'S MY GIFT. I AM USING IT! GOOD LUCK, DANI SHAPIRO. AS I WAS UNABLE TO COMMENT ON HER BLOG, WHICH YOU CAN FIND BY CLICKING THIS LINK:
http://www.danishapiro.com/blog/2009/09/on-taking-risks.html
I WISH YOU CONTINUED SUCCESS, GOD'S DAILY BLESSINGS, AND FOR JESUS CHRIST TO TOUCH YOUR HEART. YOU APPEAR TO NEED HIM, BADLY. BUT, THAT'S JUST ME...
-Elisa Me
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Low Down on Depression
Due to unfortunate discovery that this is a subject not nearly discussed enough, I felt obligated to explain to our readers why you should never ask someone who says they are depressed, "Why are you depressed?"
Surviving Depression is like recovering from a heroin addiction. At least, according to this movie I saw Things We Lost in the Fire (2007) starring Benicio Del Torro and Halle Barry. When I watched this movie it was very moving. I've known drug addicts and Thank God I've never been one! Just witnessing the withdrawal process shown in this movie is a horrible experience... Still, it made me realize how closely related the diseases' are to one another.
The last time I hit rock bottom [again] my week ended like this: Thursday I slept over and had to drive my son, Dak (6) to school. I signed him in at 9am...then, Friday I slept over later and got him to school at 10am!! This morning, I slept until nearly Noon... Do we see a pattern here? That's what clinical depressives do. That's also how I found out I was actually going through a "bout" of depression, again.
I saw a commercial asking questions like: "Do you want to close the shades and hide from the world? Do you want to stay at home and not do anything? Do you want to unplug the phone because you don't want to talk to anyone?" I'm sitting there saying, "Yes, yes, yes." Then I thought, "What the crap?" So, I told my wonderful Dr. Scott about it. Needless to say, she raised my Cymbalta dosage by 30mgs and told me to adjust my Wellbutrin prescription. I had been taking it wrong and it was wearing off in the middle of the day! Can you imagine? What a lunkhead.
Anyway, Once the dosage adjustment was made I began to feel better. I still wasn't sleeping right but, what the heck? Something has to suffer in order for something else to get better? Isn't that the natural order of things? Depression is not sadness. It's indescribable for the person living through it. It's not even close to pain...it's just...empty. Like a black hole through the pit of your soul. No one knows where it leads or whence it came. It just is.
I can say that nearing the bottomless well of depression is a slow and tedious process. Climbing out is even harder when the upsetting thing is your own demeaning attitude toward yourself! Did that make sense? It did in my head. I was already upset about not being a "good wife" and not cleaning the house like I used to, I hadn't folded the kids clothes and put them back in their rooms for over a month, I hadn't showered in two days, and I was pretty ashamed to say so.
To this day, I'm still not exercising any of this weight off...then again, I AM the only one complaining about it. My New Year's Resolution was to take after breakfast walks with my children. Well, those didn't exist passed that day! Is it no wonder that I dislike myself? Then, hearing my husband's complaints about the same things I just typed...cleaning, clothes, exercise...just makes the feeling stronger and the self-loathing last longer. It's hard to keep waking up in the morning when you feel this worthless... But I know God Loves me... It's the WHY I can't believe much in, sometimes - or figure out.
Whatever. Who cares, right? That's how manic depressives think themselves into a stupor. I remember crying and driving around one trying night, talking to myself about how lonely I felt living up here in "suburbia." {No offense to anyone.} I actually told myself out loud, "No one wants to move up here with you (meaning up North in KCMO), no one wants to see you, no one wants to talk to you, and you don't have any friends up here because you're a pale, lazy wench that stays inside all day. And you wonder why you're lonely? What a dummy." Yes, we do think those thoughts and yes, we do talk ourselves right back out of it the second the words leave our trembling lips! That's what makes it a mental disorder. LOL!
Back to the movie up top, it dealt with a woman's grief over losing her husband who was a wonderful man, and getting to know his drug addicted Best Friend since childhood. Her grief was obvious but we saw her pain in one tiny scene: she and her two kids were eating breakfast and the kids were playing, teasing each other. The mother [Halle Berry] screamed something like, "Stop it! All I asked you kids for was to eat your breakfast quietly. You little brats!"
That stung... I quickly told my husband, "There! That's what depression is like. My depression is like her grief." What I meant was, I absolutely have that same feeling when I haven't allowed myself to deal with the grief I should have processed Months Ago!! How can I associate my depression with her unprocessed grief? I learned that one in 'Grief Share' a church facilitated and Faith based program for accepting and processing your grief over any type of detrimental loss. Believe it or not, a "loss" can be something as little as the family pet dying to a death in the family. Loss can include a divorce of any length, being fired from the job you've had for so many years, or being laid off in this chaotic time we are in right now. I considered going back through the program, or group sessions again, in order to work through that bout... I never did. Which is really what most of us do; nothing.
Yes, we would rather wait for our current 'episode' to "pass" and not draw any attention to ourselves. Or should I say, any more attention to us, as 9 times out of 10, Someone has noticed Something is wrong. Avoidance is half the battle. Acceptance is the other half. If God can forgive my shortcomings, why can't I forgive myself? That is the eternal question. That, as humans, is on most of our minds in some form, shape, or fashion, at some point and time in our lives. Are we worthy? Am I worthy? He thinks I am. So, why don't I?
-Elisa Me
Surviving Depression is like recovering from a heroin addiction. At least, according to this movie I saw Things We Lost in the Fire (2007) starring Benicio Del Torro and Halle Barry. When I watched this movie it was very moving. I've known drug addicts and Thank God I've never been one! Just witnessing the withdrawal process shown in this movie is a horrible experience... Still, it made me realize how closely related the diseases' are to one another.
The last time I hit rock bottom [again] my week ended like this: Thursday I slept over and had to drive my son, Dak (6) to school. I signed him in at 9am...then, Friday I slept over later and got him to school at 10am!! This morning, I slept until nearly Noon... Do we see a pattern here? That's what clinical depressives do. That's also how I found out I was actually going through a "bout" of depression, again.
I saw a commercial asking questions like: "Do you want to close the shades and hide from the world? Do you want to stay at home and not do anything? Do you want to unplug the phone because you don't want to talk to anyone?" I'm sitting there saying, "Yes, yes, yes." Then I thought, "What the crap?" So, I told my wonderful Dr. Scott about it. Needless to say, she raised my Cymbalta dosage by 30mgs and told me to adjust my Wellbutrin prescription. I had been taking it wrong and it was wearing off in the middle of the day! Can you imagine? What a lunkhead.
Anyway, Once the dosage adjustment was made I began to feel better. I still wasn't sleeping right but, what the heck? Something has to suffer in order for something else to get better? Isn't that the natural order of things? Depression is not sadness. It's indescribable for the person living through it. It's not even close to pain...it's just...empty. Like a black hole through the pit of your soul. No one knows where it leads or whence it came. It just is.
I can say that nearing the bottomless well of depression is a slow and tedious process. Climbing out is even harder when the upsetting thing is your own demeaning attitude toward yourself! Did that make sense? It did in my head. I was already upset about not being a "good wife" and not cleaning the house like I used to, I hadn't folded the kids clothes and put them back in their rooms for over a month, I hadn't showered in two days, and I was pretty ashamed to say so.
To this day, I'm still not exercising any of this weight off...then again, I AM the only one complaining about it. My New Year's Resolution was to take after breakfast walks with my children. Well, those didn't exist passed that day! Is it no wonder that I dislike myself? Then, hearing my husband's complaints about the same things I just typed...cleaning, clothes, exercise...just makes the feeling stronger and the self-loathing last longer. It's hard to keep waking up in the morning when you feel this worthless... But I know God Loves me... It's the WHY I can't believe much in, sometimes - or figure out.
Whatever. Who cares, right? That's how manic depressives think themselves into a stupor. I remember crying and driving around one trying night, talking to myself about how lonely I felt living up here in "suburbia." {No offense to anyone.} I actually told myself out loud, "No one wants to move up here with you (meaning up North in KCMO), no one wants to see you, no one wants to talk to you, and you don't have any friends up here because you're a pale, lazy wench that stays inside all day. And you wonder why you're lonely? What a dummy." Yes, we do think those thoughts and yes, we do talk ourselves right back out of it the second the words leave our trembling lips! That's what makes it a mental disorder. LOL!
Back to the movie up top, it dealt with a woman's grief over losing her husband who was a wonderful man, and getting to know his drug addicted Best Friend since childhood. Her grief was obvious but we saw her pain in one tiny scene: she and her two kids were eating breakfast and the kids were playing, teasing each other. The mother [Halle Berry] screamed something like, "Stop it! All I asked you kids for was to eat your breakfast quietly. You little brats!"
That stung... I quickly told my husband, "There! That's what depression is like. My depression is like her grief." What I meant was, I absolutely have that same feeling when I haven't allowed myself to deal with the grief I should have processed Months Ago!! How can I associate my depression with her unprocessed grief? I learned that one in 'Grief Share' a church facilitated and Faith based program for accepting and processing your grief over any type of detrimental loss. Believe it or not, a "loss" can be something as little as the family pet dying to a death in the family. Loss can include a divorce of any length, being fired from the job you've had for so many years, or being laid off in this chaotic time we are in right now. I considered going back through the program, or group sessions again, in order to work through that bout... I never did. Which is really what most of us do; nothing.
Yes, we would rather wait for our current 'episode' to "pass" and not draw any attention to ourselves. Or should I say, any more attention to us, as 9 times out of 10, Someone has noticed Something is wrong. Avoidance is half the battle. Acceptance is the other half. If God can forgive my shortcomings, why can't I forgive myself? That is the eternal question. That, as humans, is on most of our minds in some form, shape, or fashion, at some point and time in our lives. Are we worthy? Am I worthy? He thinks I am. So, why don't I?
-Elisa Me
Friday, September 11, 2009
Personal Memories of 9/11 of 2001
BE FOREWARNED: IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO READ OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY THE TRUTH ABOUT REAL EVENTS, FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS ON THIS DAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST.
I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the Tuesday morning of September 11, 2001. I worked as a Certificate Specialist at the Insurance Company, Cretcher-Lynch with a good friend, Debbie Clark. I recall someone yelling out, turn on the TV! We all looked at each other and made our way to the lunchroom. There, mounted in the upper right corner of our small kitchen and lounge was a 20" television set tuned to the local news. Broadcasting Live coverage of an airplane that hit one of the World Trade Buildings.
We couldn't believe our eyes! It was horrid and fascinating at once. You've heard the saying, "It's like seeing a train wreck," haven't you? It's awful and tragic, but exciting at the same time. You try to look away but you can't stop staring. We were mainly an office of ladies, bosses and assistants, teams, and individuals alike. Our male CEO's entered the room. Noting the solemn and grave expressions we wore, they said nothing and turned their attention to the screen, instead.
There was a fast consensus throughout the office that this was no accident even as the reporters debated the issue. We knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, this was absolutely intentional. How could they even think otherwise? An airplane pilot would not in their lives, mistakenly hit a building like the World Trade Center Towers! Were they mad? Perhaps, just maybe, they were just as dismayed as we were, trying to hang on to reality as we'd known it until that day. Or, the American media machine was finally roused by reality instead of concocting its own brand of scare tactics.
None of us wanted to believe what was happening. But then, it happened again...
Another plane slammed into the second tower right before our eyes! We all gasped in a new wave of horror as we realized that this was all too real. In that moment, a lump caught in my throat. My eyes watered and my breath stopped. The announcement that all flights were "grounded" sent us quickly to the nearest window. The most vivid memory I have of September 11th is of the jet trails in the sky. All aircraft in our country were recalled and fiercely turning in mid-air. We were witness to the fantastic. The largest, civilian national effort of our time played out across American skies! And this was just the beginning.
I can't tell you the rest...it's too much. You have your own memories, haunting visions, and stories to tell. I will finish with this, however. Late into the night, as we watched our own firefighters leave Kansas City to join the rescue efforts in New York at Ground Zero, we cried. Our wedding was scheduled to take place in exactly four days! Our out of town guests were stuck at the airport. The Second Baptist Church in Liberty, Missouri was organizing a support effort and sending volunteers, as were more area churches, to Ground Zero to help the men and women firefighters and their families cope, remain hydrated, and fed.
I received a call from my tailor, who still had alterations to make on my wedding dress. She was stuck in California! Not only did I consider calling off the wedding in wake of the 9-11 tragedy still unfolding, it looked like it may not happen even if we did want to be married in four days. After two days of struggling with that decision, finding out that our out of town guests were arriving safely, and many talks with co-workers and friends alike, Greg left the decision up to me.
I woke up, on Friday, September 14, 2009 hell bent on marrying my man! I thought to myself, this is not right. They can't beat down America like this. I am an American. I was born and raised here, damn it. My parents settled in this country to give us a life worth living, to find happiness and joy in the America Dream. That is exactly what I wanted for us and to share with our guests! Our wedding day turned out to be so much more than a celebration of love, it was a celebration of continued life! The rebirth of a new and promising life as one. The life we knew as Americans, as free citizens, as caring and compassionate, God-fearing Christians and non-believing individuals alike. It didn't matter who was right or wrong, what mattered was that we were going on, moving forward, together.
Believe it or not, my wedding day turned into a beautiful occasion in spite of our nation's tragic events. In light of Tuesday's unsettling news and the weeks' exhaustive, stress-filled hours, I was going to be married that afternoon at 1:00 o'clock. Cutting to the chase and saving you a greater amount of time, our Wedding Reception was just the right "release" after 911. We had a ball. I didn't see a sad face in the place. There wasn't a single person SITTING DOWN at our reception {except Mama, because she was in her wheelchair, so get over it}! A conga line started and EVERYONE was in it! Every single guest in the room was on their feet, dancing...
No one was thinking about the twin towers collapse. We weren't meditating on all the loss, and death, or what the surviving families were going to do without their men and women who went down in those flights. We were allowed to let it all go and enjoy life again. Because in this country and around the world, for that matter, like it or not, life does go on. It will leave you in the dust if you let it. So, I encourage you all today, to begin Living like there's no tomorrow for the sake of the memories you will make Today! Laugh until there's no more tears. Sing like no one's listening! And dance like no one's watching. In the end, it's the laughter, the songs, the friends, the love, and the dance you will remember.
I know you've heard those lines before but have you ever done it? Have you decided yet, to be 100% loyal to yourself, your partner, your friends, and your dreams? Did you take that first step towards your New Year's resolutions in January, like I did? Is your anger and frustration evident on a daily basis at work, home, or school? Are you still trying to find out what you're really good at and what will truly make you happy? I'm not. I already know. How many of us can truly say the same - and mean it? I don't know everything, no one does; but I know me and that makes me happy.
Please remember 911 as the day America took a deep breath, inhaled the evil of this world, and let it OUT in one united, exasperating sigh. Where we all looked the same, covered in ash. When we all grieved for our country's loss and cried, Together. Remember that we survived it together. When we made It Work! I urge you to remember HOW IT WORKED...WITH US WORKING TOGETHER. So, for all those whose lives were affected by September 9, 2001, God's Blessings and Strength Be Yours!
Forever and Always,
-Elisa Me!
I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the Tuesday morning of September 11, 2001. I worked as a Certificate Specialist at the Insurance Company, Cretcher-Lynch with a good friend, Debbie Clark. I recall someone yelling out, turn on the TV! We all looked at each other and made our way to the lunchroom. There, mounted in the upper right corner of our small kitchen and lounge was a 20" television set tuned to the local news. Broadcasting Live coverage of an airplane that hit one of the World Trade Buildings.
We couldn't believe our eyes! It was horrid and fascinating at once. You've heard the saying, "It's like seeing a train wreck," haven't you? It's awful and tragic, but exciting at the same time. You try to look away but you can't stop staring. We were mainly an office of ladies, bosses and assistants, teams, and individuals alike. Our male CEO's entered the room. Noting the solemn and grave expressions we wore, they said nothing and turned their attention to the screen, instead.
There was a fast consensus throughout the office that this was no accident even as the reporters debated the issue. We knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, this was absolutely intentional. How could they even think otherwise? An airplane pilot would not in their lives, mistakenly hit a building like the World Trade Center Towers! Were they mad? Perhaps, just maybe, they were just as dismayed as we were, trying to hang on to reality as we'd known it until that day. Or, the American media machine was finally roused by reality instead of concocting its own brand of scare tactics.
None of us wanted to believe what was happening. But then, it happened again...
Another plane slammed into the second tower right before our eyes! We all gasped in a new wave of horror as we realized that this was all too real. In that moment, a lump caught in my throat. My eyes watered and my breath stopped. The announcement that all flights were "grounded" sent us quickly to the nearest window. The most vivid memory I have of September 11th is of the jet trails in the sky. All aircraft in our country were recalled and fiercely turning in mid-air. We were witness to the fantastic. The largest, civilian national effort of our time played out across American skies! And this was just the beginning.
I can't tell you the rest...it's too much. You have your own memories, haunting visions, and stories to tell. I will finish with this, however. Late into the night, as we watched our own firefighters leave Kansas City to join the rescue efforts in New York at Ground Zero, we cried. Our wedding was scheduled to take place in exactly four days! Our out of town guests were stuck at the airport. The Second Baptist Church in Liberty, Missouri was organizing a support effort and sending volunteers, as were more area churches, to Ground Zero to help the men and women firefighters and their families cope, remain hydrated, and fed.
I received a call from my tailor, who still had alterations to make on my wedding dress. She was stuck in California! Not only did I consider calling off the wedding in wake of the 9-11 tragedy still unfolding, it looked like it may not happen even if we did want to be married in four days. After two days of struggling with that decision, finding out that our out of town guests were arriving safely, and many talks with co-workers and friends alike, Greg left the decision up to me.
I woke up, on Friday, September 14, 2009 hell bent on marrying my man! I thought to myself, this is not right. They can't beat down America like this. I am an American. I was born and raised here, damn it. My parents settled in this country to give us a life worth living, to find happiness and joy in the America Dream. That is exactly what I wanted for us and to share with our guests! Our wedding day turned out to be so much more than a celebration of love, it was a celebration of continued life! The rebirth of a new and promising life as one. The life we knew as Americans, as free citizens, as caring and compassionate, God-fearing Christians and non-believing individuals alike. It didn't matter who was right or wrong, what mattered was that we were going on, moving forward, together.
Believe it or not, my wedding day turned into a beautiful occasion in spite of our nation's tragic events. In light of Tuesday's unsettling news and the weeks' exhaustive, stress-filled hours, I was going to be married that afternoon at 1:00 o'clock. Cutting to the chase and saving you a greater amount of time, our Wedding Reception was just the right "release" after 911. We had a ball. I didn't see a sad face in the place. There wasn't a single person SITTING DOWN at our reception {except Mama, because she was in her wheelchair, so get over it}! A conga line started and EVERYONE was in it! Every single guest in the room was on their feet, dancing...
No one was thinking about the twin towers collapse. We weren't meditating on all the loss, and death, or what the surviving families were going to do without their men and women who went down in those flights. We were allowed to let it all go and enjoy life again. Because in this country and around the world, for that matter, like it or not, life does go on. It will leave you in the dust if you let it. So, I encourage you all today, to begin Living like there's no tomorrow for the sake of the memories you will make Today! Laugh until there's no more tears. Sing like no one's listening! And dance like no one's watching. In the end, it's the laughter, the songs, the friends, the love, and the dance you will remember.
I know you've heard those lines before but have you ever done it? Have you decided yet, to be 100% loyal to yourself, your partner, your friends, and your dreams? Did you take that first step towards your New Year's resolutions in January, like I did? Is your anger and frustration evident on a daily basis at work, home, or school? Are you still trying to find out what you're really good at and what will truly make you happy? I'm not. I already know. How many of us can truly say the same - and mean it? I don't know everything, no one does; but I know me and that makes me happy.
Please remember 911 as the day America took a deep breath, inhaled the evil of this world, and let it OUT in one united, exasperating sigh. Where we all looked the same, covered in ash. When we all grieved for our country's loss and cried, Together. Remember that we survived it together. When we made It Work! I urge you to remember HOW IT WORKED...WITH US WORKING TOGETHER. So, for all those whose lives were affected by September 9, 2001, God's Blessings and Strength Be Yours!
Forever and Always,
-Elisa Me!
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